You Don't Know

That was NOT me in the wrap picture yesterday, it was just some random woman in a wrap I found on a little place called The Internet. I only wrapped myself from above my knees to just below the breasticular region. The whole time I was worried that it was so tight I might be ruining something important, like my pancreas or spleen or something. (I wouldnít mind crushing my uterus though.) I seem to be fine - other than the large amount of slenderizing clay that became trapped in my belly button. But I don't need to tell you what that's like! I do not however seem to be any slender, despite the large amount of slenderizing cream used.

Shrug. And what a shock!

I am trying to find a cheap ticket to Chicago for the end of this month and cheapticketsDOTcom is not helping the situation. Despite the deceptive name, there are no cheap tickets. Iím not doing the 30 minute layover in Atlanta flight again either. I mean Iím sure that would be swell if it ever worked out, but no, not happening.

Even though I canít find a ticket, I have found a coat to wear in Chicago on Ebay, check it (and no, still NOT me in the picture):

Because Iím like 12, I never get tired of taking pictures of the dog peeing.

Here is a picture of me (yes, this really IS me) and my new haircut. I asked for something that would take less than five minutes to fix. I also asked for a color that did not look like poop. So there you have it. Also in the background you can see The Dogís butt Ė he went to the groomers and they shaved around his booty hole, admire it.

2006-03-02 at 10:02 a.m.