Cute Underpants

I'm so tired. I go home and stay up till 2 or 3 and then get up at 6.

Then I wonder why I'm tired.

I also have diarrhea.

Is there a connection? I don't know.

Gross.

The good news is I have no appetite. Why is that good news? Because of the fatness that is me. Also? Food costs money and now I can save that money I would normally spend on food and buy something else.

No, not a hamster.

Is that all you think about?

I can't wait to move. Two more months.

Dang.

~~

Someone stole a laptop here where I work. Yesterday they were questioning us about it.

I got called into the president's office.

I hung up the phone and thought, shoot, that can't be good.

It's only been 3 months since I was fired from my last job.

So I go in all nervous and sweating and then it is about the stolen laptop.

What a relief! Glad I didn't steal it.

Of course with the profuse sweating, I made a gamey suspect.

They asked if I knew anything about it, when they suspect it was stolen, on the 27th.

I said no, but quickly followed with "but I stayed late that night and no one else was here".

They asked if I had seen anyone walk out of the building with a suspicious box.

I said no, but quickly followed with "but I have been taking boxes out of here for the past week because I'm moving".

Dang, what is wrong with me? Why don't I just confess to it?

I blame the lack of sleep.

Yes, that's it.

I had to sign a form stating I knew nothing. Oh and that I might have to take a lie detector test. I've always wanted to take one of those.

Always.

But if they ask me to, I'll probably refuse.

Just to be obstinate.

~~

I went to Wal-Mart yesterday. I am aware I spend a large amount of time at a place I claim to hate.

But listen, we all have our issues.

They have these fruit of the loom matching bra and underpants sets.

How cute are they?

Like so cute.

So cute.

I bought 4 bras and 8 pairs of underpants.

Yellow with lime green and pink stripes, and pink with little flowers.

Cute ass stuff, I kid you not.

Having matching bras and underpants makes me unusually happy.

Almost, but not quite as much as hamsters.



2006-02-02 at 9:11 a.m.