Stretch Pants of Fake Cows

The party was actually - shock - fun! After my brief panic attack, I pulled it together to play hostess and did suprisingly well. Friend was actually very surprised at her surprise party - having no idea at all. Just the right amount of food and booze was purchased, so all was well.

Before the party, I called another friend to tell her that I was freaking out because up until that point I hadn't really thought about the fact that having a surprise party meant people would be coming to my house and I would actually have to TALK to them. I know, shut up, right?

You know what she said? She said, "Oh Toast, just think of this as a growth opportunity."

I told her I wasn't ready to grow today, thank you very much and promptly hung up.

Honestly, sometimes either your friends can buy into your insanity and support your neuroses, or they can try to be the voice of reason.

I shall be throwing my next party in . . . about 23 years. Call me.

I'll post pictures soon of the food. I made a meat tray all by myself. I mean I actually rolled up little pieces of meat with my own hands.

The toast skills just do not stop.

Anyhow I am off to the mall now to buy a pair of lime green high heeled mary jane shoes.

Possibly some underpants as well.

Oooh, does anyone get the Chadwick's catalog in the mail? Truly hideous stuff in there, but one item particularly stood out from the rest. Ok check this, they have - are you ready?? - they have a pair of pleather high waisted pants with - wait for it - an elastic waist band. For $24.99. Gah!!

I'm thinking of buying a pair in red to go with the lime green shoes. Too much?

2006-01-15 at 12:22 p.m.