Nothing exciting is happening lately, so here are some random things that are in no way connected. Seriously, don’t even try.

My boss at work is from England so he’s always saying things like bloody hell or bollocks. Mostly just bloody this or bloody that. It troubles me.

My cat swallowed two dimes and a nickel this weekend. He left the pennies behind. Once when he was little I had to take him to the vet because he swallowed a toothbrush. Shut up, I know. He’s a cat – not too smart and a lot of free time on his hands. Anyhow, along with the toothbrush twenty seven cents was found. Up until that point, I thought my friends were stealing my spare change – yes, I do have that kind of friends.

I feel like you can judge a book by it’s cover, probably 95 percent of the time. Sure, there’s that other 5 percent when maybe you’re wrong, but who has time to waste on that.

The other night at work someone killed a bug in the dressing room. Half of it – the ass part – was squished on top of the door. The front part was on the floor – head and legs. I tried to scoop up the front half to dispose of it and it moved. It was dragging itself across the floor with its entrails sticking out. Well, it was a beetle type bug, so it’s entrails were that yellow, sticky, goopy looking stuff. Even though its ass was dead, the head still had the will to live.

I used to work at this restaurant a long time ago where the uniform was a white t-shirt and black pants. You had a choice of a regular t-shirt or baby doll. I chose regular. This other girl chose baby doll. She was maybe 6 feet tall and around 250 pounds and she should have known better. She also wore too tight pants so that a roll of fat seemed suspended around her middle and spilled over her waistband. She would come out of the kitchen, carrying a tray over her head, and she would yell, “Hot stuff, coming through – and it’s NOT the food!” She really believed it, too.

2002-05-29 at 3:37 p.m.