R0y@ls B@seball


Friday night, I went to see a Roy@ls baseball game, the Roy@ls being K@ns@s City's major league baseball team. Did you know there was a major league team in K@ns@s City? OK, here it is. I am going to come right out and just say it. The K@ns@s City Royals are horrible. No, really. They suck and they’re always going to suck. They are really, really bad. They have one of the worst records in the American League. The bullpen is a joke, a sick one at that. The Roy@ls, I believe, are last in the league in batting average, slugging percentage, home runs, and total bases. Impressive, no?

So when my friend asked me if I wanted to go to a Roy@ls game, I said hell yes.

I managed to have fun at the game despite the obvious suck factor of the team, possibly because beer was involved. And the Roy@ls won. Yes, you did read that correctly. The won 5 to 4 against the T@mp@ B@y Devil Rays. After 12 innings. Over four hours. Due to an error by the third baseman missing an infield hit. Whatever, we won! Unfortunately they stop serving beer after the seventh inning. Bastards. And sadly no one threw a ball into the dugout like last time, although several players were hit with balls.

Now I am crammed back in my plexi-glass cubicle for another week, sedated and soaking up the warm, phosphorescent glow of Windows XP. Office job: working in a cube, dressing business casual, hating every moment.

Consider that the alternative to waking up and getting out of bed and going to work is staying in bed and sleeping. So sue me. I like to sleep. And it isn’t easy to do sitting in a plexi-glass cubicle. Goodness knows I’ve tried. Of course the stay-in-bed plan doesn’t offer any monetary compensation.

The worst thing is the administrative drudgery, the petty politics, the paperwork, the stultifying boredom, and the people who are equally unhappy so they just lock themselves in their offices or walk around and drink too much coffee.

There's also the phones. They never stop ringing. Ring ring ring. Ring. Ring ring ring. Ring. Ring ring ring. Ring. I hear it in my sleep. Seriously. I answer my phone at home with my company's name.

I'm starting to get really upset about that.

2002-08-12 at 12:41 p.m.