Pain Reliever

So . . . my checking account is overdrawn because I'm retarded. I don't even know how much it's overdrawn by because aside from being a tard, I'm also a wuss and afraid to check. I'm managing by eating a giant bag of cheddar chex mix, somehow it soothes me.

The overdrawing gets in the way of my plans to purchase a new alarm clock. See I've had a cold for about 17 days straight. Mainly just a cough that won't go away, just call me Typhoid Toast. Saturday night it was really bad with all the cough hack cough crap, so I downed half a bottle of nyquil, took a couple of advil and an ambien. I think that's the recommended dosage/mixture of medication (by a junkie, but anyhow). At about 3 in the morning my alarm clock went off, I do not know why. I was so out of it, I couldn't find the off button so I pulled the plug out of the wall, except I pulled so hard, I broke the plug off and sparks shot out. I remember thinking, oooh, sparkly and so pretty! The alarm clock was going beeeeeep, beeeeeeep, beeeeeeeep even though I had unplugged it. See I had put a battery in during one of the 37 hurricanes we had this year in case the electricity went out. In my drugged up state, I did not remember doing this and kept staring at the clock in my hands. I thought the alarm clock was possessed. I did the only logical thing I could think of, which was to take the alarm clock downstairs and wrap it in a plastic bag and put it in the refridgerator.

Now you know why I need a new alarm clock.

2005-12-07 at 9:43 a.m.