OSMWT

I walk this 3 mile loop usually everyday after work.

I say walk, not run, because running is for losers.

Sorry if you run and had to find out this way.

Ok, fine, I suck at running. There, are you happy now? God.

I always feel like runners look down on walkers. I know I would if I were a runner.

Nevermind, so I always go clockwise around the trail. I don't know why. I just feel off if I go the other direction.

There is this one runner, I call him Old Shirtless Man With Tubesocks (he's older and generally does not wear a shirt, but does wear tubesocks - hence the clever name). You know, whatever you need to wear to get yourself moving, hey, do your thing.

OSMWT always runs counterclockwise. The first time he passes me he says, "Hellooooo!" and he is all cheery and what have you, and not even breaking a sweat or breathing hard.

After I have gone another mile or so, he crosses my path again.

And he says, "Helllllllloooooooo again!" like he just has to remind me that it is not the first time we are passing.

Dude, I know, ok? I am slow, I am a slow walker, ok??? God.

I usually can't get through 3 miles without 3 "Hellooooooooooo's". Actually one of those and 2 "Helloooooooooo Again's".

I hate OSMWT more than I have ever hated any other older, shirtless, tubesocked man in my entire life.

And that is a just a massive amount of hate-itude.

2007-11-30 at 4:39 p.m.