Office T@lk

When you work in an office, people feel the overwhelming and uncontrollable need to make inane small talk at all times. I feel like I’m having the same conversation over and over. Sometimes I would rather staple my head to the desk than repeat this loop for all eternity. Typical work week comments:


“Another Monday?”

“Don’t you hate Mondays?”

“How was your weekend?”

“What did you do this weekend?”

Insert stupid comment about weather here. Comments about the weather can be inserted on any day, at any time of the day. Too hot, too cold, too windy, too nice, too muggy, rain, sleet, snow, hail, tornado.


“At least it’s not Monday!” (unless Monday was a holiday, then you get the old “It feels like Monday!” comment and the rest of the comments move accordingly for the week).


“Hump day!”


“One more day till the weekend!”


“It’s finally Friday!”

“So what are you doing this weekend?”

“Doing anything exciting this weekend?”

Insert another pointless comment about the weather here.

I just sit at my desk, smile, and try to imagine these people with a personality. I need a new job, something where I wouldn’t be locked in a tri-walled box from 9 to 5, staring at a computer screen all day long. I sometimes think about looking for a new job, but then I usually just wind up taking a nap. Maybe it’s possible that beer is decreasing my motivation. Nah. Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no. But I do know that this isn't an office or a life, it’s hell on earth with fluorescent lighting.

I just filled out my timesheet for the week. At the bottom, it says “I certify that this timesheet is complete and accurately reflects my time and effort”. Effort, ha! I thought that was amusing. I mean if I start getting paid on effort, well that would just be very, very bad.

2002-06-04 at 9:44 a.m.