Man Soup

Hi Diary,

I am looking for a new apartment as I have done pretty much every year for the past 15 years. It just never stops being a giant flamey fireball o' fun.

Let me just say that craigslist, while a great tool to waste away many hours, can be incredibly deceptive.

I went to see a one bedroom apartment last week. The bedroom was about 4 feet wide, I kid you not. It had no windows and a weird foor. More than just a bedroom, it looked like a place to hide a body or a sex slave. Next.

The next one was . . . different. There was about a 2 inch gap around the top of the front door. Always important in Florida - land of lizards and giant cockroaches (or palmetto bugs should you prefer the prettier sounding, though still the same thing, name). Then there was the bathtub.

Ok, when I used to have cable many years ago there was this wonderfully awesome show called Autopsy (or something). They would show these gruesome murders and how they were solved through by the Oh-So-Awesome-Medical-Examiner. Anyhow this one dude died in his bathtub. In August. And it was several weeks before anyone found him and all that was left was man soup.

So back to this second apartment I saw - the bathtub looked like it had at one time been filled with man soup. Yum! And next.

Then we come to the final most perfect apartment in the existence of all apartments that have ever existed. It is THREE BLOCKS from the beach. I currently live 12 miles from the beach. Doesn't seem that far, but there are no east/west interstates to take you to the beach, so 12 miles can take well over an hour with all the stoplights.

The problem is it is $100 more than I set my limit at. . . but wait, it gets better. There are two units available. I see the first one and I like it, right? But then! I see the second and oh my gosh. Same size and everything, but all updated. . . stainless steel appliances, a refrigerator that makes three kinds of ice that come out of the door - cubed, crushed and something else wonderfully ice-shaped. The bathroom has all this neat tile and those shower heads that people that like to be really clean have (instead of people that like to feel like someone is spitting on them). . . and of course this one would put me $200 over my initial budget.

I am crunching the numbers trying to find an extra $200 a month. . . do I really need electricity? Laura Ingalls didn't have it, and that prairie girl did ok.

Ah well, the landlord is waiting on my choice. I'll update as the situation warrants.

2007-07-12 at 9:43 a.m.