Letís see. I was living in New York. I had dropped out of college to move there with my friend Chad. It seemed like a good idea. Hereís the conversation as I remember it:
Chad: Iím moving to New York Friday, want to come?
My ability to recall conversations in detail like that is impressive, right? Anyhow, things didnít go to well for Chad and I after we moved, due to the fact that he was insane and tried to kill me with a phone. Another story for another day. Shortly after I moved in with my friend Kristi. Another story I told on a different day. She obviously turned out to be a different kind of insane, but never tried to kill me, so bonus.
While I was out one day delivering a basket, I noticed this guy peeing right in the middle of the street. Thatís not the kind of thing you see in Kansas. No, really, itís not. I thought, ďwow, thatís not the kind of thing you see in Kansas!Ē. My thought process is remarkable. So while noticing Peeing Man, I wasnít paying attention to where I was going and skated right into a door that someone had opened. Once again, Glitterkick is flat on her back in the middle of the street, this time with her roller skate wheels still spinning and surrounded by fruit. Sounds like a high concept perfume commercial.
The man who knocked me out with the door felt rather bad and offered to buy me lunch. I was broke and slightly dizzy, so I thought why not? The man turned out to be a Naval recruiter. Surprise! Up until that point, I had never thought of joining the military. I think my top two career choices were 1) anything but military and 2) military.
What can I say? It was January in New York. I was out of money (the destroyed fruit basket was coming out of my check). The program I would be going into was in Florida. A year in Florida, just like a vacation. Right. How hard is that to decide? I have to sign up for 6 years? Pshhh, no problem, where do I sign?
Thatís exactly how it happened too. Magnificent.
2005-03-02 at 9:55 p.m.