Fat Furry Butt

Anyone looking for information on the phone number 1-800-395-2274, sorry, I can't help.

Those rat bastards start calling my house at 7:00 a.m. and don't stop until 11:00 p.m.

It's really annoying, I don't know what I've done to deserve this and I don't know how to make it stop.

They are like a raging case of ass herpes.

So there you have it, all the information I have is now yours.

You must find your own way from here.


Here's a new bracelet, I really, really, really like.

No, really.

Be amazed.


So it seems everyone else has loser retarded cats too, cats that refuse to acknowledge cat toys.

I will bring these stupid ass toys home and I will be so excited.

So excited.

My cats remain unimpressed. They look at me all wtf?

I try and show them the picture of the cat on the package and how that cat is just loving the toy.

Loving it!

The best was when I brought home this little carpeted pole thing with little cat nip mice on it. I must have spent 30 minutes batting those damn mice about trying to get someone to play with me.

The next day a pile of vomit appeared on the bottom of the pole.

No one claimed responsibility, but I just KNOW it was Orange Cat. She's bulimic and vindictive, a deadly combination.

Kaire, I have tried the paper bag thing. My cats love the paper bag, just in completely opposite ways.

Orange Cat likes to sniff the entire perimeter of the bag - as she does anything that enters the Toast household - and then crawl inside the bag to sleep for 14 hours straight.

Siames Cat likes to launch sneak attacks on the bag in which Orange Cat has chosen to sleep.

This usually takes place around 2:37 a.m.

Oh and Neko, totally with you on the need to lay on paper. What is with that? Anytime I want to read anything, my cats are fascinated with me. Activities include, rolling around on the paper, trying to sneak under the paper, hitting the paper, hissing at the paper, and on a rare occasion, licking the paper until there was a giant hole in the center, throwing up said paper on the floor, and then walking away like it never happened.

Places Siamese Cat chooses to sleep other than his assigned location:

Siamese Cat on the Yoga Mat - his interpretation of the downward cat.

Siamese Cat in a sewing basket - helping me make a hair shirt I suppose

Siamese Cat on the back of the sofa - should you visit my house, bring your own lint roller. Trust me, it will save both of us some time.

I would post more pictures, but I wouldn't want anyone to think I'm one of those crazy cat loving fools that takes 374 pictures of her cat or anything.


2006-01-27 at 11:45 a.m.