I am an unpopular electric eel set in a pond of goldfish

Being ridiculously bored at work, I have been playing around on myspace searching for people. There are only 10 people registered from the year I graduated high school.

One of them was my best friend from 6th grade, DeAnna. When I used to go to her house, we used to do exciting things like go to Taco Bell for nachos and milk (I loved my milk), and if we were feeling really adventurous, we would cross the highway to Burger King for onion rings.

One weekend, we made a bunch of Vote for Wayne glitter badges because Wayne was running for 6th grade class president and DeAnna had a huge crush on little mulletted Wayne.

Wayne lost, just in case you were wondering.

We also hung out at the mall and stole rings and necklaces from Claire's jewelry store and ate cinnabons and tried on clothes at Ups and Downs. On Fridays, we would dress quite skank-a-liciously in mini-skirts and stolen jewelry, and go to the roller rink to hit on older boys and pretend to smoke.

Because we were so cool like that.

And because 1986 was a simpler time.

We kind of lost touch after 6th grade. I'd see her around, and we still talked, but we just didn't have that same spend-the-night-at-each-other's-house kind of friendship anymore. While I was fine with the dressing whorishly at the roller rink, DeAnna was actually ready to cross the line and put out. I'd hear stories about her, what she was doing, who she was doing, but never really paid too much attention.

By high school, I completely lost track of her, but I remember she got pregnant sometime around the 11th grade and had a baby girl.

So today I e-mailed her because what else am I going to do, work? As if. Aaaaand here is the response I got back (she's still a bit of a bad speller, so try and overlook it):

Yep thats me! How funny, did you live in Buckner? When I think back you look really different now. Imagen that it's only been how many years? Did you get braces in like seventh grade? Noticed your not in MO. Florida, right on. Thats cool you noticed me, hi, long time no talk to. I just went to your profile to read about you and the Buckner question was answered. But I also noticed you are a lesbian, thats great and buddist, even cooler. I am bi-sexual and went from morman to Wicca... I really prefer to be called a spiritualist. But I love to meditate. Thats so cool, I am having rushes of memorys of us hanging out. Well I am in the adult entertainment business, its me, still in Mo. But travel quite a bit. I've been married and divorced three times, and working on my fourth, no babies with this one, thank godess! But I just need to be a free spirit. My oldest daughter starts driving this year. She's a great daughter, all my kids are really great! I really got lucky. I am the coolest mom ever, my kids would even tell you. But I'm glad you found me, maybe you'll wanna stay in touch... Talk to you later. DeAnna

I kind of regret not staying friends with her. I mean I could have had an exciting career in the adult entertainment industry.

Instead of the cubicle industry, it's so much less glamorous.

I never get to wear handcuffs.

2006-03-03 at 12:00 p.m.