I really don't understand why job postings don't all list a salary range in the description. I mean honestly. And then you aren't supposed to discuss salary at the interview, right? Whatever.

I'm not even looking for a job right now, I already have three. I'm just saying it's really stupid that I should have to get dressed up, wear uncomfortable slimming underpants, smile and make small talk, all to find out I am going to be offered a job that pays well below the entry-level salary of most crack whores.

I like to use crack whores as my measuring stick for many things.


My part-time job at the card shop is fun enough. I really enjoy punching the buttons on the old fashioned cash register. The DING sound amuses me endlessly.

Endlessly, I kid you not.

So the lawyer I work for is out of the office today. Apparently he injured himself in some sort of boating accident this weekend. I really don't know all of the details, but I'm guessing there were dolphins involved. Viscious bastards.

I really have nothing to do all day now. Well except sit here and have cramps, which? Always fun!

There used to be these chips called Dooley's or something. They were pretty awesome. They were like a potato chip tube filled with french onion dip. It was like a chip/dip combo in one. I know it sounds gross, but you are so wrong. I don't know why they were discontinued. Other than the fact that they looked like pus-filled tubes. But I mean other than that . . . And know, those crap-ass Combos brand are so NOT the same thing.

I have this friend who has gotten involved in one of those multi-level marketing companies. She is convinced she will have a free Mercedes by January. And to that I say, get down with your bad self. Ok, really I don't say that, but I hope it all works out for her. I really do, I'm a good friend like that. I am! But if she doesn't stop asking me to buy the damn products, I am going to punch her in the uterus. Right in the baby-maker. $167 for a month's supply of vitamins? And these are better than Flinstones chewables how exactly? Girl needs to stop messing with me or else put on her knee pads because she is going down!

It's like the 2nd grade all over again when my best friends, Rebecca and Sarah's parent started selling Amway and I wasn't allowed to play with them anymore because it always ended with a demonstration on the effective and amazing cleaning power of Wham! disinfectant spray. It's like, so? 409 has been doing the same thing for years and you want me to buy your product? Riiiiiiiiight.

Ok, I'm done for the next 11 minutes.

2006-09-11 at 10:23 a.m.