Dead Bird Feet

I just spent 15 minutes trying to write a paragraph about my job, but got so bored I went to the bathroom instead.

I will say that it is casual Friday and one of the supervisors is wearing a Garfield sweatshirt that says "I don't do Mondays". She is also wearing her hair pulled back in a purple scrunchie.

No lie.


When I was little, I used to be amazed by how the birds could sit on the telephone wires. My grandma told me it was because the birds had special feet that protected them from getting electrocuted. She also further explained that if I tried to go sit on the wire with the birds (which was my fondest wish) that I would be electrocuted which meant that my intestines would ooze out my ears.

Well one day, I found a dead bird in my Grandma's back yard. I figured that since this particular bird was dead it probably no longer needed its magical bird feet. I also figured that if I could cut off the feet and glue them to the bottom of my shoes then just maybe I could sit on the telephone wire with the rest of the birds.

What? I was six, give me a break.

Unfortunately, my grandpa caught me trying to pilfer a Ginsu knife (cuts through butter as easily as dead bird legs!) and my bird feet transplant plan was quashed.

Looking out the window today at the birds on the wire, I still think that idea had potential.

2008-04-11 at 9:22 a.m.