Cubicle Barber

I just ate a lot of grapes that I didn't wash first. I wonder if I will die now . . .

Ok, still here.

I have to figure out where my car keys are by 5:00 tonight, so if you know, now would be a good time to tell me.

Also if you have seen in of the following: a box of checks, a little bottle of resin catalyst, a turquoise ring, a pair of headphones, several pairs of scissors, a black watch, the plug-in for my digital camera, my digital camera, and a hamster I lost in 1984 named Pepe.

Call me.

So yeah, I have this hair, just this one hair, that grows out of my chin. Donít freak out, it only happens about once every three months. Seriously, every three months I will look in the mirror, and bam, there you have it.

Well I guess yesterday was the day because as I was sitting at my desk, gazing at myself in my free promotional mirror, there it was.

Hmmm, what to do, what to do. . . not having the usual removal means available at work (tweezers), I decided to go for my big, giant orange handled pair of desk scissors.

I had to lean my head waaaaaaay back and hold the mirror up high at an angle so I could try and cut the offending hair.

Naturally at this exact moment the CEO walks by. I mean really, what are the odds of that happening? The freakin' CEO.

If you are me, those are pretty good odds.

So Iím just sitting in my cubicle cutting my chin hair when the CEO walks by . . . just another day in the life of old Toastcrumbs.

It is a good thing I am quitting soon, I really donít think I am promotable at this point.


Time to get back to work. By work, I mean messing around with some super glue and some spoons at my desk. . . at least itís not chin hair cutting, so as long as I donít accidentally super glue my forehead to anything, I will call today a success.

The spoons are not in any way work-related, itís for a craft-show type thing I have this Sunday. I hope it will be fun, but the other sellers that come, itís always the same group of crafters. They are so clique-y and so flooptastic with their oh-look-how-cool-I-am plastic glasses and handmade outfits, dreadlocks and organic vegan smells-like-butt snacks that they bring.

You know, I like to make stuff, but I also like to shop at Target. Also? I love Doritos. There I said, itís out there and I donít care who knows it.

So yeah, should be fun, giant flamey firebally fun. I am bringing the FAMILY sized bag of cool ranch doritos to snack on and no one can stop me. No one.

2007-08-08 at 9:42 a.m.