Cat Scratch Fever

Orange Cat's vet visit was not as successful as I had hoped.

She did quite well going to the vet. Quite well for her involves meowing and yowling in anguish for the duration of the 7 mile drive. Fine, fine.

I took her into the exam room and let her out of the box. She was quite nervous, but I was soothing her as I can do.

What? I can be soothing. Yes, I can too dammit.

Anyhow, I told them up front that she is very agressive with new people even on her best days and when she is nervous, well look out.

I don't think they took me seriously though because the vet comes in all loud and la la la.

People are fooled by Orange Cat's fluffiness and her sweet face. It's like her secret weapon.

The vet asked me to hold her still so she could look in her eyes and I stupidly do so. Vet comes at her all fast and well what do you know?

Orange Cat bites me. I don't blame her, I blame the stupid vet with her stupid English accent.

Her two fangs went into my index finger, one on each joint. Orange Cat has most excellent aim. Two teeth went in the other side.

I have to say that a cat bite? Stings like a mother.

So then I am bleeding all over Exam Room #3 at Petsmart. Nice.

After I get myself cleaned up (minus the blood all over my favorite white hoodie, thank you Orange Cat), I start working on bandaging myself. I carry my own supply of band-aids.

Did you know that cat bites are very infectious? Yeah, well. I'm on antibiotics for the next ten days. Then I went home and cut my finger (the same finger) on a bit of copper I was trying to bend. It just really has not been my week.

Apparently I will not be happy until I develop tetanus and cat-itis.

So far I have not developed any cat-like behaviour. Like I have not felt the overwhelming need to lick my own ass or chase imaginary bugs up the wall.

At least not overwhelmingly.

And? I did not get the cat sedatives. They need to take her heartbeat before prescribing. That's it, that is all they need. Her stupid heartbeat. So she has another appointment next Saturday to try again.

I have devised a different plan though. My roommates have two cats, both of which are quite a bit more agreeable and less deadly than Orange Cat. Whichever one is closest to the front door next Saturday is getting a free trip to Petsmart. Hell, any cat off the street will do.

2007-12-03 at 9:43 a.m.