Time for bed

What, almost two years and no entries? That's a little sad.

I think I'm doing okay. I was just feeling nostalgic reading through some older entries. Then I hopped around to other diaries I used to read. Most have not been updated in years, but a few are still around.

Last I wrote, I was seeing Joe (tha actually was his real name) and Pierre (his real name is Ed and I'm not interested in privacy so there you have it). Joe is long gone and Ed should be, but . . . I don't have a real reason why he is still around.

I was thinking about past relationships and what I would like to say to some of them. It's my diary so why not?

Ed - I don't know why I ever liked you in the first place. I'm not even sure I ever did. I hate your stupid beard. It stopped being fun and then we stopped having sex. Then there was that weird time in between when we had stopped having fun, but were still having sex. Shudder. Sometimes I fantasize about running you over with my car.

Joe - I liked your cat and your apartment way more than you. Also you're kind of an ass.

Scott - I know you only hired me because you liked the idea of sleeping with your secretary. We had some fun times. You were one of the mistakes I chalk up to my twenties.

Alice - you are gay. You always will be. You can deny it all you want, but you only have ever dated women. I'm pretty sure that makes you gay. You are living in the back of a walk in closet. Come out into the light.

JD - You are one of the few people to make me laugh. Shame you were so hung up on your ex wife.

Drake - I barely remember you. Sorry about that, but it has been almost 20 years. I miss being that young and I also miss being that stoned because it made guys like you seem like the best idea ever.

Carl - you are (and I don't want to exaggerate) but you are the worst kisser ever in the history of the world. Seriously.

Kate - you were and always be my favorite. I am sorry for the way things ended and wish I could change it. We both fucked up in so many ways. I still miss you. I think about contacting you, but never have the courage to actually do it.

2013-05-28 at 12:46 a.m.