Hold Please

Hold, please

People are always calling the office and asking for Dr. so and so. Ill say, Im sorry hes on another line, would you like to leave a message? all professional like. Then theyll say, Do you know how long theyll be on the other line? It takes all the strength in the world not to bang the phone on the desk a few times. All the strength. Or to just say something like oh yeah, it will be about 2.37 minutes, would you like to hold? Seriously, if I could predict these things then I would go join the psychic network and smoke some weed with Dionne and friends. Shit.

Excuse my crankiness, its just that the network connection has been down all morning and I never realized how boring my job was without it. Have you ever visited the seventh ring of hell? I have. The seventh ring of hell has a cubicle, a bad selection of muzac, the stale stench of microwave popcorn, coffee and apathy. If you're lucky, you'll slip into a semi-comatose state within the first five minutes of your arrival in hell. Lets go back to the cubicle, shall we? Im in a cubicle, but the walls are made of plexiglass. Dont ask me why. Its like you can see me, but you can get through to me. Im sealed for your protection. People are unable to talk to me through the glass. They either come all the way around or stand on their tiptoes to talk over the glass. People, the glass is not soundproof its not even 5 feet high!

2002-05-30 at 12:57 p.m.