83 days later

I seem to only update this every 83 days or so, sorry about that.

I would like to say thank you so much for all the kind words about Daisy. She was a hell of a cat and she is missed. But now that some time has gone by I realize I would never need a box of ashes to remember her by, that was just me feeling guilty. And let's be honest, as big of a freakin clutz that I am, those ashes would have been knocked over in a week. Thank you to those of you who wanted to contribute money to getting her ashes, but it's all ok. Usually when people say "it's the thought that counts" I think, what the hell, screw the thought, I need action. But in this instance, the thoughts were super nice and much needed.

Ok well, what else. New job, check. Pretty much every 14th entry of mine starts out with "so I got a new job". It's ok, it's with a big federal government organization that if I told you which one, you would go "oooooooooh".

You know that show Hoarders? I saw a few episodes on Netflix, but I couldn't watch too much, it made me itchy. I think they need a new show called Anti-Hoarders and I could be a guest. I currently own 4 pieces of furniture and I am worried it is too much. They could have a therapist come in and force me to buy a coffee table and ask my stress level at being forced to hang a picture on the wall.

Seriously, my apartment looks like a hotel, but less cozy. I had to move last month and everything I owned fit into 8 boxes. This made me worried because before it was 7 boxes. What the heck. I used to decorate, have throw pillows and shit. Now? Couch, bed, table and chair. Hmmmmm.

I bought an area rug last week. It lasted 3 days before I returned it. I couldn't convince myself the need for it since my apartment has carpet.

My lease is up in April. I dream of moving back to Florida. I spend too much time on craigsist looking at apartments. Maybe once I get back to Florida I can allow myself to own more than 3 towels? We'll see.

I cut off ties with a "best friend" a few weeks ago. We have known each other for 8 years. I don't know, it felt like so much work, there was no joy in our friendship. I felt stressed when I saw her, and relief when I didn't. She would put me down in front of other people, apologize later and tell me how much she loved me . . . but that doesn't feel like love. It just got too hard. When I first met her, I had just moved to Florda, and that was a beyond hard time. I was so lonely back then and I really clung to the friendship. I'm not that codependent anymore, thank bob, and I think she liked me better when I was. I completely changed things I believed in for this friendship, dropped other friends, just . . . I don't know. I look back over the past 8 years and there was some good stuff, but not enough.

Ok, well then, I own 8 pairs of boots, but I cannot commit to buying a damn coffee table.

2010-11-28 at 8:53 p.m.