1. The world's largest prairie dog lives in Kansas and signs announcing is presence are posted every 20 miles. They say things like "150 miles to the world's largest prairie dog" or "128 miles to the world's largest prairie dog" and . . . well you get the idea. Sadly, I did not get to stop to see the amazingly large prairie dog. Damn the luck, they were closed.
2. The ADULT superstore gets announced at approximately the same mileage intervals as the world's largest prairie dog. I also did not stop for porn, but the largest adult superstore is in the middle of Nowhere, Kansas.
3. There are some big ass monster windmills in the middle of Kansas. Hundreds of them. BIG. I did see those. I tried to take a picture, but almost drove off of I-70. I almost died. Ok, not really, but those bumpy things on the shoulder of the interstate that I ran over really made me have to pee and then I didn't want to take a picture anymore.
4. Jesus is a pretty big deal in Kansas. He gets more billboards than the world's largest prairie dog and the adult superstore combined.
5. Abortion. They are against it in Kansas. They want me to know I could smile before I was born and to choose adoption not abortion.
So to recap a trip across Kansas. The prairie dog on steroids, porn, porn and yes, more porn, life threatening windmills, jesus rocks and smiling fetuses.
Not that I ever plan to have children, but the idea of a smiling fetus growing inside me kind of creeps me out. I'm just saying.
Now then. I am on my way to Atlanta. I am moving there, kind of on a whim. I have no actual plan, except move there and hopefully find a job.
Don't worry, I have a back up plan if things don't work out. Actually I have two.
Plan 1: Live in car.
Plan 2: Live in mom's garage (possibly in my car).
So see, no need to worry with full proof back up plans like these.
I'll let you know how it all works out. I have about 800 more miles to cover with my two dogs and my senile cat.
2010-03-07 at 11:20 a.m.