Cornflakes never change their stripes

When I told my friend Jessica of my plan to photograph real-live hookers on my trip to Orlando, she gave me the following words of wisdom:

"Itís not a good idea to communicate with hookers in any way shape or form and definitely donít take their picture. They will cut you!"

Words to live by.

I ate a lot of celery for dinner last night. I'd rather not talk about it though.

I am way too easily convinced to go to Target instead of doing anything productive.

I went to Lowe's to buy some lightbulbs and instead bought a $49 fountain. But it's a tranquility fountain so well worth the investment.

I thought I saw my friend Mark in front of me in line at Panera Bread this morning so I went up and kicked him in the butt. Then I realized it wasn't Mark. Not Mark was all did you just kick me in the butt?

I said uh, NO!

And I looked really offended when I said it.

John Desrocher if you are reading this I have your DVD and you can't have it back because you are a big poof head. Also you left the state without telling me and just so you know, I think that makes you my crappiest friend. And that's saying a lot.

2005-09-27 at 12:43 p.m.